Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Hiatus from Poker but Hopefully not from the Blog

I've been taking an extended break from teh pokah, so hopefully I can come back refreshed and ready to crusher every doutsche-bag micro player in the online world. In the meantime I hope to blog consistently about the upstart Chicago Cubs, my softball career, my crazycrackheaddog Keystone, and my otherwise uninteresting life in the interim. I need to hook up on blogging at home so I can thoughtfully verbalize my genius for all those in bloggerdom to appreciate.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Biggest Patriots Fan in the World (Not NE either)

That's right boys and girls, my George Mason Patriots have done what Texas, Illinois, Nevada, Arkansas, Northern Iowa, UAB, and Monmouth could not. The #11 seed hailing from Fairfax, VA is headed to the Final Four and holds my March Madness Pool fate in its underdog hands. I was thrilled when they got by Wichita State on Friday to add a win to my pool total along with Texas' unbelievable squeaky win with a 3 point buzzer beater drained by Quentin Paulino to give me two teams in the Elite Eight. From there I figured George Mason had about 1/5th the chance to advance to the Final Four that the Longhorns did, but I like the rest of the nation sat and then jumped in amazement as the Patriots somehow staved off the #1 seed UCONN Huskies in OT after an improbable comeback from being 4 down with under one-minute left in regulation. I still have a chance to win eight times my Madness Pool buy-in if these Patriots can shock the world and take home a national title. Right now there is no bigger GM Patriots fan.

I'm staying away from the virtual (and real) felt for awhile as I try to shake the effects of variance gone wrong. I'm experiencing some withdrawals but have stayed away from everything but crappy freerolls that are more like lotteries with over 9000 entrants (one of which I finished 188th in when 27 of 9000 entrants moved on in the satellite). More interesting than my non-adventures in the poker world will be reading the accounts of the 6 or so from our poker blogging community that received the opportunity to participate in a charity poker tournament this past weekend at THE PLAYBOY MANSION. I can wait to get my read on.

This weekend also brought the start of another season of softball as I am currently playing in a Friday night and Sunday night league. Thankfully the Friday night league game was cancelled this past weekend allowing me and my teammates to watch the Madness that has taken place on the hardwood this March. Last night I played my first double header of the season and it has started well as we played some clueless doutsche clowns that had never seen a softball in their lives'. Two run rules and 5 Keystone Lights later I called it a night. I'll be sure to roughly document my and my teams stats/records periodically on the blog like anyone cares.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Madness Resumes

This thing, this American thing called March Madness re-kicks off tonight with some Sweet 16 action and I have a feeling about what will transpire. Gonzaga, Bradley, Texas, LSU will move on and be joined by Washington, George Mason, Boston College, and Georgetown in the Elite 8. OK, you're right, that is not what I think will happen, but the results that would assist me the most in my bracket picks and more importantly winning my office draft pool (for pride only, yeah right). For me to cinch the title I could really us a University of Texas and George Mason final game on April 3. Get your cheerin' hats on and be thankful we have something to entertain ourselves with since we can't go to the Mansion.

Poker Blogger = Royalty

Too bad I'm not qualified yet. Maybe in a couple years I can attain what is a very prominent position these days: respected poker blogger. It will take a lot of writing practice, many bad beats, riding that roller coaster known as variance out so my tight ass will come out ahead of the fish, and maybe some trips to LV to take part in some SPBT and WPBT events. That should give me plenty of entertaining stories to write 7 novels about the absurdity that is the poker lifestyle, but that's why we dig this shit man.

Oh yeah, the reason I bring this up.................Joe Speaker, Dr. Tao, CJ, Bobby B, Mr. Can't Hang, and I'm probably forgetting someone here.....that's right BG all are heading to none other than the Playboy Mansion this weekend to participate in 1) Charity Poker Event 2) Grabbing bunny/playmate ass and hopefully 3) Taking plenty of pictures and notes to report back to the rest of us sorry saps. To say that us newbie/slacker poker bloggers are jealous is the biggest understatement this side of saying the Chicago Cubs are a struggling franchise. Well at least someone we know gets to have a great experience and I'm sure we'll reap the rewards in the form of tremendous pictures and stories. The best part is we'll have the Playboy Mansion stories coming from several different angles because needless to say Joe Speak and Bobby The Junk have different perceptions and widely differing styles in which to report the debauchery that shall be had this weekend.

Have fun fellas. Don't let us down. Pictures galore with Al doing SoCo shots out of bunnies belly-buttons would be nice.

Monday, March 20, 2006

All Is Not Quite Lost/TO: good/bad/ugly

Well I still have a shot in my office pool thanks to the miracle Patriots of George Mason. All I need now is a showdown between the afore-mentioned Patriots and the Longhorns in the championship game and I'm gold, Jerry, GOLD. This sounds simple and yet also like it has no chance to happen, but I'm not discounting the strange and unexpected in today's NCAA basketball crapshoot world. I mean this March Madness thing has turned into a LeeJones 45 man Turbo S&G in which the guy who goes all in with J8s (this is synonymous to WSU and George Mason matching up in the Sweet Sixteen) on the first hand triples his stack and goes on to maniacally dominant the entire tourney. As you can probably surmise by the tone of this post, the poker life of this humble blogger has been solely on the wrong side of that variance curve with no signs of changing. I heretofore will take a lengthy hiatus from the game and comeback refreshed and ready to dominate in the near future.

To completely change subjects I will admit (even though I didn't list them as one of my main interests) I am a confessed Dallas Cowboys fans and have been since they sucked balls back in 1989. This weekend brought an interesting turn to our franchise when Jerry Jones took a Janet Jones esque type risk when he signed Terrell Owens to a 3 year deal in an attempt to bring this franchise some respectability and a chance to do some damage in the playoffs. As for my opinion on this issue, I feel somewhat like I've flopped the nut straight and have a redraw to the nut flush and am all in against the poor guy with only the str8, so I'm on a complete freeroll for the whole pot. Let me explain that analogy by saying I'm risking nothing as a Cowboy fan to bring in TO because our team has been hopeless for the past decade (ever since the franchise took to snorting coke as opposed to perfected their football skillz). So either TO ruins the team chemistry and we are still hopeless, ORRRRRRRRR, he dominates and turns into a choir boy at the hands of madman Parcells and the Cowboys become a legit offensive force and thus a complete team with a chance to compete with the best in the NFL.

I am thinking of starting a pool on the over/under of when TO destroys the team single-handedly and am contemplating about Week 5 right now. Let me know if you think this line is reasonable and which side of the bet you like. You fictitious loyal readers of this blog.

Friday, March 17, 2006

F^@$ March Madness

Welp I'm deep in the hole here. I only pay for one gamblin' adventure for March Madness, and I get f*#$@d in the ass. Farkin' Arkansas, Nevada, UNC Wilmington do me in the freakin' butt you know. I need UT and the George Mason to take it to the house if I have any chance to take it to Lee Jones's asshole. I'm so ready to down that $1 million guaranteed I can't stand myself. Someone respond to this drunken post or else this blog is roasted.

This blog entry has been edited in in an attempt to not offend the elderly, youth, and all of humanity in general. Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

I'm Back/March Madness/WBC

That was a long break due mainly to just laziness. I have been fairly busy with work, poker, menial tasks and outings in the OKC. Last weekend I hit the Hornets/Pacers game and was fairly disappointed in a couple of things: 1) the Hornets played lack-luster basketball and lost and 2) a brawl nearly broke out when Chris Paul was fouled excessively hard and Desmond Mason stepped in to assist in any needed ass-whoopins but the referees quickly diffused the situation to my great disappointment. I thought at minimum there was a small chance that a Pistons/Pacers type brawl could break out, Stephen Jackson would enter the stands and hit me in the face, and BLAMMMO instant Poker Bankroll. It wasn't to be.

The past weekend was also big in that Sunday was indeed Selection Sunday which sets us sports fans for one of the best months of the year. This year I have less college basketball knowledge than I normally have because I have been paying extra attention on the NBA because of our own Hometown Hornets. I think this lack of knowledge may assist me in filling out a more accurate bracket as it seems the more you know about these college hoops teams the worse you pick the games. As of yet I've not entered into any paid contests for the brackets and I don't plan on doing so, but I have entered a few pride contests amongst groups of which I am associated with (now that's anonymity at its finest).

The WBC is in its 2nd round and the US snuck out a win against the venerable Japanese team with the assistance of a controversial call that took away a run scored on a sacrifice fly by Japan. A-Rod came up clutch for a change on a well struck ball that trickled through the Japanese infield for the game winning single with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th inning. Last night though a new favorite has emerged in this inaugural World Baseball Classic as the Korean team punished the US 7-3 and remained as the only unbeaten team in this contest. I still think that the Dominican lineup will be tough to beat as they can score with anyone and will more than likely win the entire tourney unless their pitchers totally abandon them.

As far as poker goes not too many exciting events happened. Played a few cash games with some small success and played more low level Turbo S&G's on Lee Jones's site. What is frustrating is making all the right moves when play gets to 6 handed in those 18 man S&G's and either not getting action on your monsters (all folded when I had KK, QQ, AA twice) and then getting sucked out on by the shortstack when you do get action (my second KK got snapped off when the shortstack flat called my 3x BB raise with A9o and hit his A on the flop). Oh well, I am making the correct decisions and I know in the long run they will pay off. I will attempt to incorporate more poker in the blog in the near future, but before I can do that I need to incorporate more poker in my life on the virtual felt. Until next time, this is the Cubs' year.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Better Prop Bets and DADAW

Well after getting destroyed in my virgin attempt at becoming a prop bet pro in the Duke/UNC game I took a step up last night during the Hornets/Lakers game. No, there was no bet on the score of the game, how many points Kobe's selfish ass would score, or how dominant (the certain ROY) CP3 would be for the Hornets. Instead me and my fellow HornetsCentral bloggers Rod4Sooners and Wooldoor Sockbat met at the local Buffalo Wild Wings to take advantage of $.50 leg night, a big screen with the big game, and attractive waitresses. Now the attractive waitresses is where the prop bets enter into the equation and Wooldoor and I went to war for a $5 prop on the over/under of one of the hot waitresses (I believe her name was Amber). Wooldoor insisted that his, "you have to look at the eyes" method of judging a woman's age was infallible and that he estimated our girl to be about 27. I quickly interjected and said she was in the range of 23-25. I received the 25 and under on the bet and was eventually proven to be the winner as she confessed she was 23 years-old.

Now to the expanding of the DAD acronym to DADAW. After the Hornets predictably gave up their 8 point 4th quarter lead to that selfish (but still skillfull bastard) Kobe Bryant and the Lakers I headed home and had a cheap Turbo S&G on my mind. The tourney started with a bang as I folded the first two hands, but found JJ UTG and did something I will hardly ever do in that situation as I limped in the pot for T20 because I had already identified a wild maniac that was directly to my left. As expected he raise to 6X BB or T120 and got one caller and I call as well and we see a flop of 252. I again play passive and check to the maniac who bets T200 and the other caller quickly folds and I estimate that the maniac will call my raise to T700, but he doesn't and I take a nice early pot. 2 hands after the JJ, I receive KK in the SB and see it all folded around to me and I put in a nice raise to 5X BB to see if the maniac will play back at me. Sure enough he calls and we see a rag flop of 852 all diamonds and I hold the K of diamonds I bet somewhere in the region of 3/4 pot and maniac quickly calls. The turn and the river blank off and I collect a decent pot and I see that the maniac was calling me down with J6o. Nothing interesting happens for a while besides we are down to the final 9 (out of 18 starting) in just 16 minutes with the blinds still at a reasonable 50/100. I stay out of the way for a while and then comes the fateful hand as I look down at the two black AA on the button. UTG and UTG+1 limp and I drool as the player to my right raise to T600 (blinds are 100/200 now) and I gladly push in my last T1800 and folds around to the Donk who calls with J8s. I am rejoicing now that I can really play after this big hand as I'll have T4000+ and a good shot at running this final table until I get that nauseating feeling when we see a flop of T9T to give this Drawing Donk and OESD. No tension to the river as the turn gives us the deciding Q and I'm eliminated in 6th place (two out of the money) because the Donkeys Always Draw And Win.